Hi everyone, this is my first time posting here. I’m having a hard time with a situation in my family and wanted to see if anyone else has gone through something similar.
My parents divorced when I was a sophomore in high school, and now I’m about to graduate. The divorce caught me off guard, and it took me a long time to adjust to all the changes.
My mom was a stay-at-home mom while I was growing up, so we were always really close and spent a lot of time together. I think that’s part of why this transition has been especially hard for me.
About a year and a half ago, my mom started dating someone, and now they’re engaged. Everything has felt really fast because I was still trying to process the divorce when he became a big part of our lives. He moved in about eight months ago.
I actually do like him as a person, so that’s not really the issue. What’s been difficult is how much my relationship with my mom has changed. Before, I felt like I was her main priority and almost like her best friend. Now it feels like most of her attention goes to him.
I often feel anxiety so it’s been hard feeling like my mom isn’t really “there” for me in the same way anymore. Often this is because she’s usually focused on introducing him to people or talking with him. They are both very obsessed with each other and I often feel like a third wheel, which just makes me miss my family before divorce.
I’m genuinely happy that she found someone kind, and I want her to be happy. But at the same time, I’ve been struggling with feeling like I’ve become her second choice.
I’ve tried talking to her about this a few times, but the conversations usually don’t go well. She tells me I need to get used to him being around, and afterward I mostly just feel guilty for upsetting her.
I guess I’m wondering if anyone else has dealt with this kind of shift in their relationship with a parent after divorce and remarriage, and how you coped with it.