AITA for backing out of a job after the company already paid for my medical check-up?
Hi, I (26F) recently went through a breakup and moved to a new city, so I’m basically starting over alone. I’m currently trying to balance school, living expenses, and taking care of my dog completely on my own. That means paying rent, school-related costs/tuition, dog food, vet bills, and all the normal responsibilities that come with having a pet. Financially, things have been pretty stressful, so finding stable work was very important to me.
I’m from Europe, so work culture and hiring processes may be different depending on where people reading this are from.
Around the same time, two different companies contacted me about jobs in my field of study. The first company moved much faster with the hiring process, while the second company scheduled everything much later, so at the time I genuinely wasn’t sure whether the second opportunity would even lead anywhere.
The first company offered me a position with relatively low pay, but I haven’t finished my studies yet and I’m not fully qualified, so I understood why. Even though the salary wasn’t great, I still accepted because I really wanted experience in my field and, honestly, I urgently needed a job.
They arranged a medical check-up with their company doctor, and everything seemed basically certain. I was supposed to start this week. I hadn’t officially signed the contract yet, but the process was very far along and it felt like I was already expected to join.
Meanwhile, the second company finally invited me for an interview. I honestly mostly went for the experience because I didn’t think they would actually hire me due to my lack of qualifications and unfinished studies.
But the interview went surprisingly well. They offered me the position, and overall it just felt like a much better fit. The salary was significantly better, the team seemed really kind, the atmosphere felt healthier, and the work itself matched exactly what I want to do long-term.
So after thinking about it, I declined the first offer and accepted the second one.
Now I feel horrible because the first company already invested time and money into me, including arranging the medical check-up. Tomorrow I have to go there in person to pick up some papers and explain to the team leader that I won’t be joining after all.
I even offered to reimburse the medical check-up because I feel guilty about wasting their resources.
What also makes me feel bad is that during the process with the second company, I didn’t explicitly mention that I was already very close to starting somewhere else. I feel like maybe I should have been more transparent about that.
Now I’m anxious that the first company might contact the second company somehow, and overall I just feel like a morally bad person for changing my decision so late.
So… am I the asshole for backing out of the first job after going through most of the hiring process because a much better opportunity came along?
UPDATE:
Hi, thank you everyone for standing up for me and giving me advice 🫶🏻
In the end, I went there this morning because I think I explained it a bit wrong in my original post. The doctor was their contracted GP, so I think the organization had already paid for the check-up.
They were actually super nice about everything. They asked me to compensate the cost of the check-up, so I did. It was around 30 euros. It was definitely an expensive and stressful situation, but I still feel much better than if I had ghosted them.
I also didn’t end up needing to explain everything to the supervisor because they had already informed her themselves (HR). I apologized for the inconvenience and then left.
Thank you again for all the comments and support ❤️❤️