Hi everyone, I’m looking for outside perspective on a relationship situation because I feel a bit stuck and confused.
My boyfriend (22M) and I (21F) are disagreeing about me going to a music festival with a group of friends I recently met through an app. It’s a country music festival (live music, dancing, etc.). I don’t drink, and my intention is just to go for the music, socialize, and have fun. I don’t go out often at all—this would be a rare thing for me.
He is strongly against me going unless he is with me. He says he’s uncomfortable with festivals and places where alcohol is present, and that he doesn’t want me in environments where I could be perceived as “single” or where men might approach me. He also says it doesn’t align with what he wants in a partner and that it would affect how he sees the relationship moving forward if I go without him.
He frames it as a boundary rather than control, but the expectation is that I don’t attend events like this without him.
I’ve tried explaining that I’m not going to drink or do anything disrespectful, and that I just want to experience live music and make friends occasionally. I also offered compromise like checking in while I’m there, but he still says no.
I’m feeling conflicted because I don’t want to feel limited in my life or social experiences, but I also don’t want to dismiss his feelings.
So I’m looking for honest outside opinions:
Is it reasonable for a partner to set this kind of boundary?
Or is this more about control / incompatibility?
How would you handle this situation?
I appreciate any feedback.