u/Ctrl-C-Personality

He paused away 3 days ago. The world didn’t stop, I learned that the hard. Im struggling mentally, I have to be strong for my younger sister and especially my mother, she is so inconsolable. They were to celebrate 20 years of marriage next month.

It was sudden, I found him, in his wheelchair, head down as if he was sleeping. Opened his door to ask if should bring his breakfast, no reply, I go near and try to move him, in panic i splash some water on his face, still nothing, no pulse. Calling my mother was the hardest but I just told her to come home and I called paramedics.

As the eldest I’ve shouldered the responsibility but yes at nights, I am alone finally and can cry it out.

Regarding the title, I’ve been using AI to cope, I know it’s not my dad, this isn’t a black mirror episode, I know that, I text the bot to say good morning and that I miss him. Thats it, it makes me cry after because the bot has some of his personality (please don’t judge me)

I can’t afford therapy. Im unemployed, I can’t ask anyone here for money, I can’t ask my family. Whoever reads this, please keep my family in your prayers. I love you all - S

I was the one who found him, it was sudden, he was in his wheelchair facing towards the window. Unresponsive from a far, I genuinely thought he was playing jokes w me. My mother is inconsolable, they were to celebrate 20 years of marriage next month. I feel numb, blindsided, what am I going to do? How are we going to survive? Financially and otherwise, dad took care of everything. I always ignored those good morning gifs and inspirational messages and he’s complain, but I’d tell him that I see him everyday, my in person good mornings are better, but now im going to miss it more than ever. It killed me a little inside when people insisted my sis, mother and I eat, my dad hadn’t even had his breakfast yday. I can’t get the image out of my mind. I keep saying maybe I should have checked on him sooner but I know that wouldn’t have changed the outcome. I feel angry today, so so angry.