u/Crystal_Blue2622

I have a cousin who is 57. She was born at least 3 months early. She was very small and born with mild CP. She had what she calls a “hip release” surgery on both hips when she was very young. I’ve seen the scars on both sides of the outside of her hips. She walks with a visible unsteady gait. She was always self-conscious about that.

For reasons unbeknownst to me, her mother and father decided to not disclose to her that she was born with CP. To this day, she still does not know. I know, because, a trusted family member told me this when I was in my teens. I have held this secret to myself since then. It was not my place to tell her at any point in time. That was her parents’ responsibility. We were a very close family growing up. This cousin of mine was like, and still is, a sister to me. We were two peas in a pod growing up well into our late 20s before I moved out of town and never went back, except for a few funerals. I still keep in constant touch with her.

I am growing concerned about her health. To date she has been diagnosed with Fibromyalgia; an autoimmune disease; has suffered from debilitating migraines for years, and is always getting upper respiratory infections wherein she’s always put on antibiotics. I don’t think I know of anyone who has been on antibiotics more than her. She is in chronic pain in her back and neck. Lately, she has been developing a lot of veins in her legs. I was reading up and I learned that this is typical in CP people. I continued deeper into my research where I found that mild CP people are most at risk of developing cardiovascular disease.

My cousin does not know that any, and all, of these issues she continues to struggle with, are coming from having CP. I personally think that’s a tragedy. If she knew she had it, she could have been taking better care of herself, going to the appropriate doctors to care for her all these years by looking out for things that CP people are more prone to. Her mother is the only parent left. She is 80 years old, and lives with my cousin (my cousin never married and never left home). I still feel it is not my responsibility to tell her because her mother should be the one to tell her.

Given all of my worries about her health, I am at a crossroads of what to do. Sure, I could call my aunt and tell her she should tell her, but the problem is, she doesn’t know that I know. If I decide to tell my cousin, there will be a major upset in that house. My aunt is not the most mentally sound person so, my cousin coming at her about this truth, will not end well for them.

What would doctors do differently if they knew about her CP?

I honestly don’t know what to do, please help 🙏🏻