Pre context, I'm a 32yo trans man, I came from a highly mentally and emotionally abusive history, parental and from romantic partners. I'm finally in a relationship that's safe. The only friction point is I'm autistic, my partner is very adhd. They're an emotionally reactive person and I'm highly analytical. Where my logic and emotion exist simultaneously but seperate from eachother and logic is my driving force, their logic is driven by emotion. I do my best to speak with absolute precision but I'm failing to actively acknowledge their feelings in scenarios that dont feel like it's necessary whether it's a disproportionate reaction or not. They admit to reacting suddenly and disproportionately often. I've been working on unmasking and allowing myself to exist as I naturally do but it seems like my separation of lines of thought is just wrong and I don't know how to navigate it because I can't identify a consistent pattern with their reactions, I can't create a default flow for something that seems to keep changing. And no matter how much I explain and contextualize my thought processes it doesn't seem to make a difference.
u/CrystalKitten93
First, this explicitly NOT a complaining post. I'm majorly unbothered by the situation at hand.
I was summoned for jury duty. My name and gender has not been legally changed as of yet. I just haven't had the money to do it. I knew if I was called they'd be calling my dead name. Fine. 🤷
HOWEVER. I pass. I pass pretty extraordinarily well, i don't get misgendered by strangers ever. I have a beard and I'm built like a shit brick house. I can pass off a feminine name, because even in feminine terms my name is fairly unconventional and uncommon. Sure I had weird parents, haha oh well. But I wasn't expecting the court to call me as "MISS dead name". OK.... Well. That's a thing now. Lol ok. Couple of people gave me weird looks. More people gave the court a side eye.
In the selection process prosecution was asking us screening questions. This person, whenever I was addressed, i (a wide burly man with a beard) was addressed as "miss dead name". Weird but whatever.
The defense, however, while they did use my dead name, it's all they had access too, not holding it against them. They refrained from using any honorific for me... And by my account, only me that I noticed. Defense lawyer was notably significantly younger than prosecution lawyer. So while I may have been outed, at least one person put the effort in to address me the most respectful way they could. I appreciated that even if it was effort to earn brownie points maybe for their side. Idk. Idc.
Thankfully those who are on this jury with me either put two and two together and don't care, didn't tune into my public outing, or are really good at staying civil. People are engaging me and interacting with me normally which is nice.
Just a hilarious series of events.
(Edited to add a little clarity and further context.)