u/CryptographerOk7160

We were stopped at this intersection where there's multiple cones and construction and bullshit and we were sitting at the green light for a little bit so i thought to myself "eh fuck it, i'll just turn this left, find another way home" when i got into the left lane i saw that the lane to go straight was open or at least it seemed open (no traffic, no pedestrians no flaggers,) so my dumbass goes "oh shit it's open" and i cut off the truck and went straight. I didn't even realize what i had done until a lady in this kia next to me yells at me"fuck you". That was when i realized what i had done and now i feel so stupid and embarrassed

Hello! So i just turned 20 a few days ago and had no friends to celebrate my birthday with. Which obviously is not surprising, for context, i was homeschooled or in online school since 7th grade, had a few social connections with friends online but unfortunately it didn't work out, and ever since then i hadn't really made any friends. At that time, my brother was like my best friend so I guess i didn't feel the need to make other friends? (I know, pretty silly) but now at the big age of 20 I'm realizing the importance of quality social skills and just having friends in general but I genuinely don't know where to start. I mean I sorta socialize with my coworkers but a lot of them are young teenagers and for some reason i feel like I don't connect with them in a way?

I also don't know how to get past this mental barrier of "Who cares, we all die anyways," or putting on this fake persona of "I don't care about people and what they think about me," Growing up i've always been shy and had very few friends if any, even when I was in school and i really don't want to be one of those people who victimizes themselves. If you were in my shoes, what would be the first steps you'd take on becoming more social and confident as a 20 year old?