I (22F) suffer constant mistreatment from my mother (53F). It has been this way with me for as long as I can remember. She always forced me to hug her, even though I’ve always felt uncomfortable with hugs. She has always gone overboard with her “care,” but I won’t go into much detail about that because it’s too inappropriate and I don’t need to bring those thoughts to mind right now.
Throughout my entire school life -from kindergarten, through elementary and high school -I needed help, but no one ever gave it to me. I repeated several grades, I always failed, and I never did homework. Yet I’ve always been very intelligent. My mom was negligent toward me, just like my teachers, who never noticed that I needed special support and accompaniment.
Now I’m in university and everything is hitting me all at once because it’s very difficult for me to socialize naturally. I go silent and words don’t come out. I really am very intelligent - I only need a couple of hours of study to take an exam - but I need support in many areas and also to understand certain concepts. As for my mother, which is what I want to talk about, she has always yelled at me for staying quiet. But it’s not on purpose. It’s a silence because I have nothing to say, nothing to add. I simply don’t feel like talking or sharing anything. She yells at me and tells me I’m a headache for her. It’s always like this.
I struggle with basic things. For example, peeling an apple or an orange - I simply forget how. I need clear instructions, not for her to get angry at me again. She says things like, “You’re a grown woman already! You can’t keep being this dumb!”… It’s really hurtful. I can’t cry in front of her because she immediately gets angry and twists everything, making it seem like I started the fight.
I’m like her little dog that always has to do what she says. She has treated me like a little girl my whole life, even now as an adult.
Do any of you have a similar relationship with your parents? I need to read other people’s experiences. Thanks.