My brother (34) married his wife (28) about a year ago.
With Mother’s Day around the corner, I had been communicating with my brother to arrange a time to meet to celebrate our mom. My husband, mother, and I live in the same house and life is pretty tough. We have plenty of food and are blessed to be able to pay all the bills. However, my mom is very emotionally immature and probably a narcissist. She can never be wrong, and she is just generally a really hard person to talk to.
I’ve always filled the role of dutiful daughter. When holidays come up, or special occasions, I tend to be the one who has to coordinate with my brother to get us all together. I’ve done a lot to ensure he feels supported. When my mom wanted to cut him off because he wasn’t “prioritizing her,” I told her to be patient as he adjusts to married life. I’ve supported his wife’s small business and always make an effort to talk to them about the things they care about.
Over the last week, I’ve talked to my brother on the phone and via text message. We are also planning to see one another in person on Mother’s Day.
Today, as my husband and I were out with friends, I got a text from my brother. He said that it’s been hectic lately and he hasn’t found a great time to tell me, but that I was going to be an aunt. I was shocked. Not because I wasn’t happy for him, but because of the way he chose to tell me.
After congratulating him, I asked how far along she was and asked if he had told our mom yet. My mom can be pretty pessimistic about their relationship, and my husband and I were coming home and I didn’t know if she would be an emotional mess and start to fly off the handle again. Earlier before I went out, she called me because she was irritated at my brother for his Mother’s Day restaurant suggestion and that she had to share the day with my sister-in-law’s mother. So naturally, I imagined she would be pessimistic about how often she would get to see their child.
He told me he told my mom two weeks ago and that they had told his wife’s boss due to early morning sickness. He said her boss was super excited and they conspired on a fun way to tell their coworkers. He asked my mom not to say anything to anyone yet.
Basically, I feel a bit jilted because it feels like I was the last to know and the way in which he told me felt really cold and distant. My brother and I aren’t super close, but I am very supportive of him and defend him in front of my mom. I get that pregnancy is the parents’ news to share and they have a right to share the news how they want, but AITA for being mad?