My wife (30F) has been a life long dirt bike rider. Many of her great childhood memories have involved riding with her friends and family. It’s a large part of her identity. Despite her best efforts, I (35M) have never enjoyed riding dirt bikes. I didn’t grow up on them, I don’t like riding them now. Never have and never will as I’ve explained to my wife several, several, many dozens of several times.
The problem is that her dad has always fixed and maintained the dirt bikes for her. She has never fixed them herself beyond holding the flashlight while he teaches her how to swear while changing the oil. We’ve recently moved away from her dad and have taken the bike with us and inherited the responsibility of maintaining and fixing any issues with the bike.
When making plans for this weekend, she assumed that I would be involved with getting the bike running again. I refused to get involved since I have almost no experience with anything internal combustion. I’ve fixed the air filter on a lawn mower once.
My arguments: I would have to learn how to maintain and fix a dirt bike for a hobby I don’t enjoy or would participate in, taking time away from other chores and my own hobbies to support hers. Maintaining the bike and fixing it when it breaks down is part of the hobby and she needs to decide if that is going to stop her form participating in a hobby she loves.
Her arguments (trying in good faith to represent her side): That we agreed to support each other when we got married. That she never would have agreed to marry me in the first place if she knew I wouldn’t help her with something as meaningful to her as this. She’s worried that she will break her bike and we will need to pay more to fix the damage she causes.
I want to support my wife but this feels like a big ask for something I have no interest in and actively avoid. Am I the asshole here?