So, I am in the planning stage of my divorce/separation. I have spoken to my husband about my intention to divorce and discussed me leaving by the end of the year. I'm a Black woman living in the US, and within the last month there was a spree of killings of Black women by their partners, as they are trying to leave their relationships (About 4-5 cases back to back). One just occurred this week. In most cases, they were married women and/or mothers leaving their relationships and the cases were horrific.
I know just mentioning race on the internet can upset the trolls- but let's stay focused- I mentioned these cases because for ME it felt like things came close to home and I got scared. I am also aware of the other scary cases of the academy for men to rape their wives, and men of different Nationalities doing Alpine divorces and other outlandish ways to hurt your spouses. We're all going through it right now. This is not a new occurrence.
I mention it because it brought an awareness of fear and vulnerability for myself during this stage where my husband knows I'm leaving and his mood varies by the day. There's no history of domestic violence in my relationship, but I don't know if that's always a prerequisite for men, snapping and hurting their partners. My husband isn't the best at controlling his mood. We had a huge argument yesterday because he felt I wasn’t appreciative that he went to the grocery store 🙄.
The violent cases are actually the background of my question: What are the strategies to make plans to move without bringing too much attention to my partner, therefore increasing tension? Although he knows it's happening, it seems like movement is triggering to him and that's when we have big arguments. Packing boxes and putting them in the garage seems undoable. I have considered getting a small storage unit and buying items I will need in advance but chatgpt says it's a waste of money, and I should save instead. I do not have local friends/family to use their garage. I am hoping to move in about 3 months. Or do I move forward normally by packing my boxes and just work through his moods until I get out? Any advice? What did your move out process look like?
TLDR: Strategies to prepare to move in 3 months without creating major blow-ups with partner in the process.