Ok so, I (20F) have been on anti-depressants for a few months now, since before I got in a relationship w my bf (19M).
Before being on them, I was basically always "numb" with occasional anger and irritation flare ups for the stupidest reasons. I couldn't sympathize with anyone or any situation that didn't affect any of my close ones.
I could barely focus on anything for more than 2 minutes and I was basically an empty shell that didn't care about anything and anyone. This sounds edgy asf but I genuinely don't know how else to describe it.
Nearly 2 months ago I got into a relationship w a guy from my class, but I'm out of meds now and I am slowly but surely on the path back to being "numb" and I'm thinking of breaking up w him bc nearly everything he does now irritates me.
But after thinking about it, this sudden thought and want to break up w him might be bc I'm out of meds? Probably.
And I am aware that I'm dryer and colder to him now, although he hasn't asked me abt it nor pointed it out. So I was wondering if I should tell him about this or just break up with him to avoid wasting both our times?
And I feel like I should mention that this is my very first relationship (at 20, yeah) bc before this i was either too scared or couldn't care less for a relationship. And even now, this is gonna sound bad asf, but I didn't get in a relationship w him out of love. I never felt romantic love for anyone for that matter.
I accepted to get in a relationship w him bc I liked his face & his personality was moreso in line with mine and his mindset is also pretty sane & healthy I'd say. He also never swore in front of me nor insulted me or any other woman, as far as ik.
His only "flaw" is being overly clingy, to the point where he'll always hold me or kiss me regardless of where we are or with who we are. I've already told him to stop multiple times but he doesn't seem to hear it or care. Never been a big PDA & physical touch fan but he just made it worse I think.
And now I'm genuinely starting to get exhausted of him. He also didn't stop touching me (nothing inappropriate, just holding me) when i told him i was overwhelmed and to leave me alone & not touch me, i genuinely felt like crying that day. Two weeks into the relationship I was already tired of him but he hadn't done anything bad so idek if I should break up or keep trying.
And at the same time, breaking up w him would be awkward bc we still got 1 and half a year together...
So, AITAH? (Go off ig this is the moment since I'm scared to go back to the doctor for a new med prescription)