I met this amazing man [45] almost a year ago, after a long period of being single. I thought I was ok by myself, but i just enjoy the relationship so much more. We are currently long distance and meet every other week with relatively easy commuting (4 hours). I have gotten a job offer out of my comfortable but dead end job, that is quite a bit further away.
He stated he would try to move with me, because he was unhappy in his job, but now has applied to a job that makes long distance even more difficult (no home office) and is in his original city.
I feel like either I am asking him to give up his job for family, or I am the one giving up my job for family. We need both incomes. I earn more, will be hopefully better in the future, he has the better pension plan. We talked about different options of commuting for both of us, but it becomes clear that this is more difficult than anticipated due to the bad job market and both our jobs being locally fixed.
I am just overall panicking. I want to stay with him, but I also dont want to give up my dream job, or my dream of a family. Neither does he. Neither of our jobs are easily moved. It absolutely sucks.
Any advice on how to navigate the fear of losing the man, or the job without coming off as a needy little whiny goblin?