My boyfriend and I broke up because we want different things
My boyfriend (28) and I (29) broke up today because ultimately he leans more towards having children in the future than I do. We both made it clear what side of the spectrum we skewed when we first got together but, being young, we also acknowledged that there is time and room for either one of us to lean the other way. Hopeful and full of optimism and love, we decided to continue our relationship.
It has now been two years almost exactly and today we had a difficult conversation that led to our breakup. With all the talk of our future home, whether we wanted modern or rural living, rings, weddings etc. we decided it would all be a moot point if ultimately we wanted such vastly different lives when it came to having children or not. He has his reason for wanting them and I have mine for not so we decided it would be best to cut our losses, split up now, and remain friends instead of growing resentment in the future.
I love him so much and I thought I’d found my forever so it stings like hell that we align in so many ways except this one huge way. I called my mom to tell her that we had broken up but of course that turned into a “why don’t you want kids?? Who is going to take care of you when you’re old”?? conversation. To which I honestly wished - for the first time in a long time - that I would just “be normal” and have the desire for children in my heart. But I would much rather feel grief for the life everyone thought I would have with children, than have them and subject them to my regret. My mom also said I “should’ve been clear at the beginning” to which I told her we both were, but decided to give things a try anyway - being that we’re both still young and flexible at mind.
My ex-boyfriend and I realize that we are both still young and have time to change either of our minds. But I do think we did the healthy and mature thing by ending things. It just sucks major eggs. I miss him already. Let yet another grieving process begin I guess.