Meltdown/ sensory overload over sounds (SH!!)
I hate when this happens to me, let me explain:
I have this little “routine” every night that I need to be alone in the dark of my room without any sound besides from my phone (that I can control at any minute if I want to stop hearing…) and I stay like that for 1-2 hours until I than decide to go to sleep.
Now it’s been some months now that my sister (28y old & i’m 23y) she also needs to be in bed and on the phone before going to sleep for 1h but she needs to have some light on. (She has adhd)
So that already drives me crazy, having some light when I need to have the room pitch black and than that she comes to the room at the same time as i’m trying to recharge and be alone which I need.
Also we share the same bed (a big bed which she has her blanked and I have mine) and that already stresses me out bc again an other thing that I can’t control is that the bed moves a lot when she changes positions.. and it makes me have big meltdowns all of that.
And today the big cherry in top was that I went to the room and she was listening to her show without headphones (which I get that she likes to hear without them also) but it makes me get really big meltdowns I got one soo big right now that I needed to go to my parents room (which doesn’t help a lot bc I hear my parents talk from the other room + the tv and i don’t have my plushies that help me regulate) all of that just to explain that I hate the feeling that I get.
It’s like i’m burning, i feel physical pain and feel so mad inside like i’m about to explode and want to hurt her to make the sound go, and than I often feel the urge to sh bc I get really mad and to regulate myself (but I know it isn’t a god method) than I cry and just wanna scream…)
Idk if anyone else feels something different or if i’m just f-ing crazy :(