I’m a 22-year-old woman who would really like to enter her first serious relationship, but something about it worries me.
My closest relationships are with my sister and her fiancé—we share hobbies, spend a lot of time together, and even go on trips. But since they’re family, I’m not sure they “count” as a real friend group.
I don’t have childhood friends due to bullying, moving cities, changing schools, and later moving countries, which caused me to lose contact with my former classmates entirely. Right now, I don’t have anyone I regularly text, meet, or go out with - I might see someone once a month at most. I worry a future partner might expect me to introduce them to my social circle, but that circle just doesn’t really exist ???
I am trying to change that. I go to events related to my interests and I think I’m good at initiating contact, but I struggle to maintain it – we usually meet once or twice after the initial meeting and then the contact just… dissolves.
I’ve talked about this a lot in therapy, and I’ve been told I’m not antisocial or difficult - I’m just very introverted, with a low need for social interaction, and possibly autistic (though not formally diagnosed). I also don’t think people avoid me because I’m an asshole - I’m polite, kind, and don’t have conflicts with others.
I have many hobbies, enjoy my own company, and don’t rely on others to feel fulfilled. At the same time, past experiences (especially a somewhat traumatic childhood) have made me cautious about letting people in, and I’m only now, in my adulthood learning how to build connections.
What worries me most is the idea that people without friends might rely too heavily on a romantic partner for all their social needs. I wouldn’t want to put that kind of pressure on anyone, but since I’ve never been in a relationship, I don’t know how it would play out for me.
Would you consider this a red-flag, a yellow-flag or just be neutral with it? Also, should I bring that up while dating someone or let someone figure out themselves that I have no friends?