M 31 F 31- Relationship issues 7 years in, two abortions and no commitment due to sex issues. Can there be a fix ?
F 31 and M 31 have been in 7 year relationship. Things have been going well according to F but M brought up dead bedroom only in recent years, and so F agrees to work on it to meet a minimum twice a month frequency- discussed Nov 2025. At same time, F wants M to set deadline when he will propose by since been in 7 year relationship. M suggests Nov 2026, and possibly earlier if sex issues improve.
3 months later F gets pregnant (2nd time) and goes through 2nd abortion. First one happened in 2nd year of dating. M says the abortion has interfered with the initial marriage timeline and so should push back deadline to Feb 2027 so he can evaluate if sex issues improve. F does not agree to shift the ultimatum date as is serious about discussing plans with timelines, and expressed her willingness to address sex issues reflects her attitude to make the relationship happen. M says that F is making “excuses” about not feeling sex post abortion.
F wants to see some long term commitment by M by the end of 2026, M wants sex to resume post abortion and to reevaluate before committing.
In this endless cycle of disagreements, M asks F to leave his flat and go back to her own flat, because F wants to see commitment but M is saying that cant happen until he can physically feel the sex is better. F suggests- even if we discuss and “lets say that the sex is better by end of this year”, is there chance of a proposal- M does not comment and only suggests ulitmate deadline should be extended to Feb 2027.
M thinks only Therapy will resolve this by shifting Fs mindset, and only F mindset should change, and the argument should be logical before deciding marriage.
But F wants to feel M is committed and show it by certain date. F thinks even if we go to therapy, theres no chance of a proposal in 2026 and should not keep extending the deadline.
Each time in dispute, M asks F to leave his flat to live in her own because technically he owns his flat. This time F packed all her things and lived in her flat.
Is this the end? M says F ruined everything because F doesnt try couples therapy.