u/CriticalPomelo9612

I relapsed today, again, I spent my entire paycheck (had some left for groceries but that’s it). And won’t have any money for another two weeks.

The worst part is, I don’t even know what I’m chasing anymore. I don’t feel anything gambling. I don’t get a rush from a win, I don’t feel like my chest is caving in after a loss like I used to. It’s just a sick compulsion that I can’t stop myself from doing. I know I need to stop, but I keep pushing those buttons.

My mind feels more at ease after I have nothing left, like I’m finally free from it because there’s nothing left to spend. I feel like I can’t function with extra money in my account, I’m not wired to live a normal life, happy, and successful life.

Just lost I suppose.

Has anyone revoked from Sezzle? I intend to pay them back when I can, but they will not work with me. They want a payment of $460 next week, and I simply cannot do it.

Thank you.

Feeling good today, I got through the weekend without gambling. My biggest hurdle this week will be payday on Thursday , fingers crossed ! 🤞

How do we stop the cycle? Up and down, money in the bank to nothing. Do we ever recover ? Is this ever going to get better?

I want to be ahead in life. I make a decent salary, there’s no reason for me to be broke, other than my own self inflicted torture with this disease.

I’m just tired. And I don’t want to be this way anymore.