I'm scared to be attractive?? TW
Okay so I don't know if anyone can relate.
If you want to share your story with me and don't want to comment, you can dm me. Thank you
(🛑Talk about ED, SA...) I'm 23F
I've been harassed, sexualised from a very young age and was told that I was a slut and other names when I was trying to dress well or wear nailpolish. I developed eating disorders at 12 and gained a lot of weight (emotional eating and bulimia) and felt safer cause I received less attention. Every time I was losing weight and getting more attention, I'd get really scared and uncomfortable, unsafe. I got sa last year and now it's even worse. I struggle with trichotillomania and my mother says it's cause I try to make myself appear less attractive than I am, and honestly....yeah.
I've lost 16 kg over the last year and gained 5 kg back. Now I feel like I want to binge again and hide. Even though a part of me would like to be myself and enjoy my body and my life. Every time I work out, I'm anxious about feeling my body, I think "who do you think you are ?" And feel just really weird.... I'm so tired of feeling this way, pulling out my hair, getting drunk, hiding behind my clothes
Has anyone felt this way before as a woman ? Feeling like it's safer for us to be less attractive cause you get less negative attention or unwanted sexualisation from men ? I was threatened to be r*ped as a child and also was told that I was too ugly anyway and I always felt like... It's dangerous to be attractive, and so it's dangerous to be skinny.