We've been together for almost 3 years and our relationship has been great, definitely a positive addition to both of our lives.
However in the last few months we've been having more conflicts but my issue isn't really about our conflicts but the way he's handling them.
When everything is okay between us, he's the sweetest, most loving and caring bf. Funny, a bit clingy, affectionate and very attracted to me, basically my "ideal partner".
However lately, as soon as there's a conflict, he shuts down and he's like a different person. He's even giving me some extreme reactions like "if I'm so bad for you, why don't you break up with me?".. which obv hurts me. He told me it's just bc he gets too overwhelmed since he's already stressed from school and some private issues but he loves me and doesn't really want me to leave him. He keeps apologizing, asking for new chances, saying he will work on himself, etc.. I see all his efforts but the main problem keeps repeating.
Recently we had a bigger argument (over this exact topic) and it went on for days, it was emotionally draining for both of us tbf.
At some point he told me he's going to sleep and I said one more thing to which he didn't respond for days which never happened before. On the third day I asked him what's going on and he told me he's just tired of fighting and basically admitted he didn't plan to text me again. I was shocked he's capable of just silently ghosting me after almost 3 years like wtf?! He told me again he was overwhelmed and deeply hurt by some of my words. He said in those days he's been sad and thinking about me all the time and was tempted to text me but felt "too guilty" to do it, bc he messed up so many times. Again he kept apologizing and asking to fix things, promising this will never happen again, etc...
However today I was upset over something and he again came up with his "why do u not leave me then?" argument saying stuff like he loves me and would be miserable without me but he doesn't want me to be unhappy. I told him if he really loved me he would just stop giving up on me whenever he's overwhelmed and actually fight for us like I do! He insisted he loves me etc and after a while again he told me he doesn't wanna give up on me and apologized.. but at this point I'm just too hurt, confused and disappointed, I can't keep on excusing this.
I'm literally embarrassed for staying with someone who keeps giving up on me but it feels horrible to leave him after all this time and I admit I probably have attachment issues bc I feel extremely anxious without him.
The other reason I've been forgiving so far is bc his personality did change even aside of our relationship. He's become way more sensitive, reserved and anxious. He's not in the position where he can seek therapy and frankly I'm not even sure if he needs it or not but I don't think I can help without any guidance and I'm questioning how much he can possibly love me if he's okay with me leaving him.
Do you guys think this is a lost cause or is there any way you think we can fix this?
tl;Dr
My boyfriend keeps giving up on me then apologizing, I'm too attached, help 😭
(Reposted this due to a missing question)