Hey, so I had an intense few months situationship with a guy that really pushed me to commit and say I love you. I’ve had some hard times lately, that’s why having his compliments, voice, and attention was so nice…when it was nice. I think it was more of an infatuation for me. Thinking he was serious, I sent more intimate pictures. I know there’s always a risk. It was dumb, but I’d never dated anyone like him. He was so forward and exciting. Anyway, we both play video games and there were times if I seemed too chatty to someone in a game or chat he’d get sulky. He often got weird about me going out or if I didn’t reply quickly or fell asleep really early (I work a lot!) and hadn’t text him, he’d be convinced something happened. Everytime we had some blow ups, I’d be the one begging and pleading for him not to be angry and blah blah. It was pathetic, but he was such a bright thing to my day and we’d have fun. Just seeing his band pop up on my phone made me grin from ear to ear. SO, I got sick of some of his hot and cold behavior and these bratty tantrums. I started to become numb. Not like I’d been severely abused, but definitely raw and a little beaten up inside. He’d apologize but it never changed. One day I had enough and blocked him on everything. Looking at his social media, he was liking pics of lots of different girls. Ya know, the filters, the filler lips, the major make up, boobs pushed up. I’m not really like that. I’m girly but not into lots of makeup or trying to be that type on insta gurl. I’d just feel silly. Anyway, now I feel like everything he said was a lie. I know when someone says “I can’t even look at a woman….youre the most beautiful woman I’ve seen…” it’s bull, but I never searched for him to say that or pushed for him to say it. He’d just say it. I didn’t expect him to or fish for ut or even ask for his opinion. He’d ask for pics and id send them.
I guess this rant is that I feel betrayed because he pushed it into something more serious when I was looking for fun. He pushed into territory that I wasn’t ready for but didn’t want to lose him. Have I been a fool? Was he messaging these girls? Why ask for pics of me while liking all these other girls pics? If I’d posted on social media the type of pics they do, he’d probably be upset. He didn’t try and hide his social media profiles. I don’t have them but he know I could possibly see his activities if I wanted to. I dont get…was it all lies? Now I feel angry and so sad and insecure when I wasn’t feeling insecure before. Was I not enough? I sent him pics all the time and he’d go on and on about them. He’d say good morning everyday and want to talk to me everyday. Was he just good at doing this with multiple girls?
Cuz of the video game, I kinda want to spread his name around even though it was dumb for me to get involved with him and start seeing a guy I met through it. I was naive but at the same time, I dint want other girls in a vulnerable time in their life feel violated like this. I want to shout at him but he’s blocked me back. Who knows if he’d even care…