I'm 29, been childfree basically since I understood what that word meant, my partner feels the same way, we have a good life, two cats, we travel, I sleep 8 hours a night. Life is genuinely great.
My mom has always done the occasional comment, you know the type. "You'll change your mind." "It's different when it's your own." I've heard every single one. I usually just smile and change the subject because I've learned that engaging gets you nowhere, it just turns into a two hour conversation where she cries and I feel guilty for a week.
But yesterday she sent me an actual article. Like she found it, copied the link, opened whatsapp, and sent it to me on purpose. The headline was something like "science shows mothers live more fulfilled lives" and the first paragraph was basically "women who choose not to have children often report feeling empty as they age." I just sat there looking at my phone for a solid minute.
I'm not empty. I just got back from a week in Portugal. I have a job I actually like. I have friends. I have hobbies. I read books. I sleep in on sundays and nobody wakes me up at 6am to wach cartoons.
I didn't respond yet because everything I want to say is either too mean or too long. My partner said just send back a thumbs up emoji and I genuinely think that might be the right answer.
The thing is, she' s not a bad person, she just genuinely cannot compute that someone could be happy without doing exactly what she did. And I feel bad for being this annoyed but also - why is my happiness always treated like a problem she needs to fix.