Changing plans due to metas plans changed
throwaway account bc the west coast is way too interconnected
recently mine (25 nb) and my husbands (33m, Oak) partner (29f, Cedar) reached out to us about a multi day sleepover which we gladly accepted as we don’t get to see this person much. it overlapped with my days off which made me feel really appreciated assuming that was a detail cedar planned on purpose.
the other day though she reached out saying that actually she decided to work a double on the first day of our plans together so she wouldn’t be seeing us until two days later, ie not coming over because of work and then needing a whole day to recover from said work, thus missing two of the days off I had. I was pretty bummed by this esp as neurodivergent and having a hard time w plans changing even without it meaning that she would miss the days off I had then she also tells us that she will be working while she’s staying with us and basically our overlap is only going to be like 30% now
today though we were also interacting with Aspen (27m), Cedars partner (first garden party sort of interaction, cedar never talks about him when she’s with us) and we learned that he had a trip out on town on the dates that cedar changed our plans to. I feel like the plans changed bc aspen likely orifinally planned on the other dates but then when he changes she decided to work and change her plans with us instead.
it feels kinda shitty and like we weren’t really considered and like we are both just a backup option for this other partner (note: using we a lot here bc the plans involve all of us, but we all have our own relationships -not so obviously- which feel really good overall and there is lots of time spent tending to diads amongst us)
anyway, trying to discern if my feelings are something real that I need to maybe express or if it is something by that I just need to process and regulate myself on