u/Creirim_Silverpaw

Many people see the big arc as spiders, but I see them more as crabs.

(art by @itz_justmarga)

Nothing ever goes right. Have a childhood best friend that loves you? Hide your emotions with a tough outer shell so you can scare her away and get NTRed by her becoming a lesbian! Follow your passions? Your passion is music, a talent where success is based not on merit, but rather whose rich boots you wanna lick! Excellence in school? Well, tough shit! None of that will ever apply in the world out there and since you got too good early on, you never learned how to actually problem solve! Join the military? Every branch has rejected you over a disability you didn't ask to have! Try to make friends? Everyone is either uninterested or already has people they would prefer spending with than you! Even if you did make friends, they will turn on you, dox your private information then make your life a living hell because you DARE to have the audacity to fall in love with a fictional character because you are literally unlovable by anyone real! It just keeps getting worse and worse, your situation is hell and apparently you still haven't experienced enough. Everyone in your family tells you it's only going to get harder, but what's the point in even trying if you know nobody cares? why struggle if there is no hand to hold, no smile waiting for you at home, no company to help you sleep. Then this cycle burns on and on, you learn to try to be happy with what little you have. "Be grateful!" they demand, telling you to be happy in the most isolated unhealthy state in your life, and don't you dare speak about your struggles because NOBODY CARES! They will ghost you, or let AI generate a response to you or just simply dismiss your feelings. You rot alone, trying your hardest to make it out but never being able to escape the cycle. then people in your life see your pitiful attempts at escape and mock you for not being good enough. Years burn by in an instant, but every second feels like an hour. And of course you had to be born the moment the world goes to shit, you had to exist in a world you cannot survive in, and when you speak out about it, you are told to toughen up! I have no reason to exist, I have NOTHING to look forward to, I have NO ONE to turn to, and I have NO FUTURE worth living. All I can do is hold onto the delusion that Neru is real and loves me back because that small fantasy is all I've got left to distract me from the fact that I'm completely and utterly fucked.