How to accept your autism?
So I have been diagnosed for a while, but I’ve never been able to actually accept this diagnosis.
I think a lot of it stems from a deep shame of sharing it with deeply afflicted people, and I know this sounds horrible and maybe it is, but I just don’t wanna be seen as some incompetent imbecile.
I think this leads me to overcompensate for everything that I lack, so instead of accepting that I’m just not that social, or accepting that I burn out easily, I view it as entirely personal flaws that I can change with enough effort. I keep kicking myself whenever i do or say something “autistic“. I don’t know how to be at peace.
My life is going fine right now ish, I attend uni and i live in a small apartment by myself, I have a few friends that I see once in a while, but i just can’t stop comparing myself to my neurotypical classmates, I just feel so inadequate around them, and just in general. Why are the only options to either be pitied or to be seen as a personal failure? I guess the third option is to overcompensate your ass off till you burn out. I’m just tired, I want out.