I (50M) agreed to help my friend (42F) pack and move. She has some physical disabilities and has difficulty getting around, so I’ve helped her before and wanted to be there for her.
That said, she can be very particular about how things are done, and she tends to be pretty harsh in how she communicates. I knew this going in, but I figured I could handle it for a day.
When I got there, she asked me to start packing up her freezer, specifically to take “prepped meals” and put them into certain bags. The issue was that everything in the freezer looked the same to me. Nothing was labeled, and it was just a pile of containers. I picked one up to check what it was, and she immediately snapped at me, saying things like, “That’s not a prepped meal, don’t you know what that looks like?” and laughing at me. She also made comments like, “I thought you could handle something this easy.”
This kind of thing kept happening over and over—me trying to clarify or do something, and her responding by belittling or mocking me. After about 5–6 interactions like that, I told her, “You can handle this,” and left.
Later, I cooled off and still felt bad because she does need help. I had also been planning to go to the food bank for her since she can’t easily do that herself. I messaged her and said I’d come back and help, but I was upfront that if things went the same way again, I’d leave.
She agreed and said she’d stay in another room and just give instructions.
When I got back, she asked me to empty the fridge and pack everything into specific bags. I did exactly that—sorted everything into the bags she wanted, grouped appropriately. The movers were arriving in about 90 minutes, so I left the milk in the fridge so it wouldn’t spoil, but everything else (cheese, etc.) was packed.
She came out, looked at what I’d done, and immediately started again: questioning why things were on the ground, laughing, and saying things like, “I thought you could at least handle this.” I explained everything was packed and asked where she wanted the bags placed. She told me to put everything back in the fridge because it would go bad. I pointed out that the movers were coming soon and that I’d left anything highly perishable in the fridge.
She just kept staring at me, laughing, and repeating that she thought I could handle something this simple.
At that point, I said, “You can handle this,” and left again.
Now she’s texting me, upset and crying, saying I abandoned her when she needed help and that she was depending on me to get the kitchen packed.
So… AITA for walking out?