How can I deal with untreated adhd/depression?
A bit about me. I'm a minor and I've been a huge lurker on this sub since I began suspecting I have ADHD a while ago. I watched Jaiden Animations's video about her experience, related to tons of posts on here, and looked through the dsm5 which made me think I want to see if I have that too.
My father basically said stop believing everything on the internet. Eventually he let me talk to a psychiatrist who said I have depressive symptoms and that could be causing the other stuff (mainly terrible memory which impacts virtually every aspect of my life) and recommended Wellbutrin or group therapy. (I have a therapist but we just talk about types of emotions and how to use a planner)
My father said no to all that.
I've made peace with the fact that no matter what I tell my father, I'll never get help from him on my mental health.
Now my problem is how do I live my life for the next few years until I become an adult and am able to seek help? How do I do school if I forget deadlines, feel way too tired to study, am crying all the time etc etc?
A couple days ago, I started reading a book but I started crying really hard because I realized I'll forget all the characters, the entire story, and there's no point.
I wake up with tears in my eyes. I go to sleep in the middle of the day. I don't feel like doing anything. Every day that passes I think to myself, "If i had just done this homework yesterday, I would have free time to read today" I worry I won't get a job when I'm older because I don't know anything. I want to learn how to code but I am too lazy and too tired.
I get that I should start small and even brushing my teeth is a win but I am bitterly jealous of my friends at school who not only brush their teeth, but also study and have hobbies and eat. I want to take hard classes because they interest me, but I know I can not learn and I'll forget everything in a week. It's hard for me to be happy and want to live