It’s scary how my narcissistic ex was posting himself travelling all happy while I was hospitalised for depression caused by him
As much work as I’ve done to heal , I still have days like today that things play on my mind and I struggle. I’m still healing but it’s also like I’m still in disbelief at how unbothered my ex was/is about what he did to my mental health. He doesn’t see himself as an abuser , he doesn’t think he did anything wrong at all , he thinks I’m the problem for holding him accountable and that I made a problem out of nothing. What he put me through caused me so much trauma especially the gaslighting , when you know what was said to you , when you have proof of what was said and done to you but they call you crazy, unstable and they deny everything it messes you up.
I made the big mistake of spending a very long time trying to hold my ex accountable and prove myself , prove that he was lying and I wish I hadn’t wasted my time because we all know a narcissist never takes accountability and never apologised because they see nothing wrong with what they have done but because I was so hurt and felt so betrayed I spent a long time showing all the proof I had just desperate to be heard and validated. My ex was on holidays posting non stop online while I couldn’t eat, couldn’t get out of bed and on the days I had to work I obviously did get out of bed but other days I stayed indoors isolating myself because I felt so broken. I even went to work a few times with unbrushed hair and I didn’t even care what I looked like because I was so depressed.
I went on anti depressants and they didn’t work that well for me and it got to a point I had to go into hospital because I wasn’t well at all, he completely shatttered my mind and reality but he didn’t care at all! I know I have no choice but to accept I’ll never get an apology from him , he’s never going to take accountability but it still makes me angry sometimes that he portrays himself as this nice guy wehn he was horrible to me and so cruel.
Narcissists are very scary people they cause so much damage, I had thoughts about ending my life because I couldn’t take the pain anymore I was so broken and he didn’t feel bad for that at all , you have to be a very cold and dangerous person to make someone not want to be here anymore and not care at all about causing damage to someone. I’m sending love to everyone here who can relate, I pray we all get through the pain.