So my GF (9 years of relationship) usually goes down random rabbit holes often where she gets hyper focused on something for some time. The catch of the day this time? Perfumes. Seems harmless enough. The problem is that she has started buying from niche boutiques on the internet where a single bottle costs a tidy sum… without ever having the chance to smell the dang thing first. Needless to say it’s a swing and a miss half the time. Who could have predicted that the specialty curated description of the smell being great can be “not so great” on arrival? You can tell some of the ones that don’t make her outright gag, the ones that are just “mid”, she really tries to justify them. Saying things like “it will grow on me” or “it gets better after a while”.
In any case, her money, her prerogative. If she wants to burn money on random potions on the internet by all means she can knock herself out.
My problem is I am EXTREMELY sensitive to smells. I never use perfume, just deodorant from a particular brand I tolerate and shower every day twice or more. I hate 95% of perfumes because they smell bad for me or outright make me nauseous (specially while driving) so naturally I avoid them. Inevitably, at a few points in my live I have been gifted perfumes (hate that something as personal as this is such common gift in society but what can you do). But every time I smile, thank the person and to the drawer it goes. I try them, I’m not a monster, but again 95% of the time I don’t like them. Due to this fact and to the surprise of no one, I consider spending money on a perfume for me quite possibly the biggest waste of money I can think of. It’s just liquid that makes me puke for 100$.
I imagine you can see where this is going. My GF, who’s well aware of the the facts presented above (again, 9 years together), wants to buy me a perfume in one of the aforementioned boutiques (so no chance of at least testing it before spending the money). And since it’s so expensive, it’s all I’m getting for the next gifting opportunity which is my birthday…
Look, I’m not 5. I don’t really care about how expensive or what my present should be. But apparently I have to be happy and grateful for a bottle of mystery liquid that will 9/10 chance make me gag? And I MUST use it because again, it’s SO EXPENSIVE, so if I don’t I’m not appreciating her effort.
Needless to say, I have expressed these concerns to my otherwise lovely GF and now she is angry at me for telling her to not buy me a perfume for my birthday. Not only she is angry at me, she is insisting that she will indeed buy me a perfume. I have stated that I will not fake excitement nor happiness when she presents it to me, which have only made her more mad.
So… AITAH? She is perfect in every other way, but seriously, smells are a real trigger for me and she knows it. To the point before meeting her I ended a relationship before it even started because of the smell of the other person.