u/Crazy_Carlos_

Here is a transcript simplified with the help of ChatGPT.

The idea is that attraction isn’t just about looks, money, or being a good person. It’s a mix of two things:

1. Tangible factors (basic stuff)

- looks, height, genetics

- money / financial stability

- social status

This is what people call hypergamy — choosing the “better option.”

But real life doesn’t always follow this.

Example:

- Pete Davidson — not conventionally attractive, has health issues, yet dated multiple women who were richer and more famous than him

- Shruti Haasan — successful actress, dated someone far less famous (many people didn’t even know him before)

Even extreme cases:

- Stories where a well-settled guy (like a merchant navy officer) gets cheated on for an unemployed guy

- Or women financially supporting partners they themselves don’t even respect fully

So clearly, “better looks/money = attraction” isn’t the full story.

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2. Psychological factors (more important)

Based on Carl Jung’s idea of Animus:

Women may have an unconscious “ideal masculine image” which they project onto men.

This evolves in stages:

- Bad boy / adventurous phase (confidence > actual competence)

- Action/leader phase (bosses, decisive men — workplace attraction)

- Wise man phase (intellectuals, mentors, experienced people)

- Later → more grounded/stable expectations

So attraction is often about how well someone fits that internal image, not just objective traits.

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3. Why attraction suddenly drops

The claim is:

If a guy starts:

- over-explaining

- seeking validation

- becoming insecure

it “breaks” that projected image, and attraction drops fast.

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4. “Tests” (controversial but interesting)

The idea is women (often unconsciously) test men through:

- delayed replies

- teasing / “you look weird today” type comments

- saying things like “I only date 6ft+ guys”

- sudden pullbacks or disappearing

- bringing up an ex randomly

These supposedly check:

- confidence

- self-respect

- emotional stability

Failing leads to a decrease in attraction.

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5. Career growth factor (important example)

Another claim is:

If the woman’s growth is greater than the man’s, attraction weakens.

Example:

- Real-life cases where a man supports his partner’s education/career, but after she becomes successful, she leaves him

Celebrity-type example:

- Angelina Jolie & Billy Bob Thornton

- Initially, he was more established

- Later, her career skyrocketed while his slowed down

- Their mindset and direction diverged

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6. Big takeaway

- Attraction is not a reward for being nice

- It is heavily tied to:

- perceived strength

- consistency

- psychological fit

Once respect is gone, effort, love, or niceness usually doesn’t fix it.

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My question:

How much of this is actually true vs overgeneralized?

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TLDR:

Being a “good guy” isn’t enough for attraction. What matters more is confidence, emotional strength, and how you carry yourself.

Women don’t just choose based on looks or money — they respond strongly to psychological traits like decisiveness, self-respect, and consistency.

They often have an internal ideal and are attracted to how well you match that image. If you become needy, insecure, or lose your frame, attraction drops quickly.

Also, things like delayed replies, teasing, or sudden distance are often tests (conscious or not) to check your confidence and reactions.

Once respect is gone, no amount of effort, love, or being nice can fix it.