I’ve structured my entire life around sex and it's exhausting. How do I stop? Am I the only one?
I think about sex very often during the day. I constantly examine the bodies of women passing by and fantasize about them. I even have these fantasies about my close female friends. I don't even want to associate with women unless I feel a physical attraction. I have had 2 girlfriends so far, and my primary motivation for both was physical intimacy. I sought out my first girlfriend (C) through a circle of friends because I thought she would be open to casual hookups, and I wasn't wrong. Although I cared for her during our first 6 months together, my initial motivation was purely physical. During the relationship, I always tolerated her toxic behavior toward me just so I wouldn't lose that physical connection.
C and I dated for 6 months and she broke up with me; we started seeing each other again 3 months later. We have been seeing each other again for the last 3 weeks, and it is based on hooking up again. We don't call each other partners, but we have been intimate at least 7 times in the last 23 days, and I completely lose myself in it. Right now, she wants to stop talking to me, but I don't want to. Even though I care for her to some extent, I just don't want to lose the physical aspect.
One month after C broke up with me, I immediately started dating someone new (A). I had a female friend who ran in a very sex-positive, party-heavy crowd. Thinking her friends would be just as open, I asked her to set me up, and she introduced me to A. We stayed together for 1.5 months, and my motivation was purely physical. I broke up with A because she kept explicit photos from a past relationship on her phone and continued to see her old flings. I could have broken up with her immediately, but instead, I acted like I forgave her, slept with her one last time, and then ended it.
In order not to lose my access to intimacy, I compromised my personality in my relationships with both C and A. I made fake promises, tolerated major red flags, and I can even say I played the role of a loving partner very well just to manipulate the situation. Sex dictates my relationships with my female friends, my behaviors, my choice of partners, and my values.
My appetite feels insatiable. I can reach climax 6-7 times in a single night and still not feel fully satisfied; we only stop because either my partner or I get physically exhausted. I am even planning a European vacation based entirely on visiting countries and cities where I can easily find hookups.
In periods when I am single, I masturbate 4-5 days a week. Sometimes, even with an active partner, I do it in the morning, sleep with her at night, and do it again when I wake up. Despite all this, my partners seem to enjoy our physical connection a lot, and some have even confessed they can't break away from me because of it.
I am tired and overwhelmed by this having such a huge impact on my life. Right now, C wants to cut contact, and I sent follow requests to dozens of girls on social media so I wouldn't be left empty-handed. I selected the girls based on who I categorized as "easy to hook up with." I have no plan to get to know them emotionally. My partners say that I am a thoughtful and kind guy. In general, I play that role perfectly; I plan what needs to be done in advance, and after getting my "bonus points," I easily lead things to the bedroom.
This situation is even affecting my relationships with my male friends. The guys in my mixed-gender friend group are generally passive (shy around girls) or highly conservative—meaning they wouldn’t be rivals if I were to develop feelings for a girl in my group. I’ve realized that my entire existence is structured around this.
What do I need to do to get rid of this? Am I the only one in the world who is like this? (I am 23M)