u/Cosmos_chaotic_mind

Soo, l've been questioning whether I have AuDHD or not, and I will try to get an official diagnosis soon. At first, I thought it might be just ADHD, but then I realized how many things I do that would be more common for Autism. At this point, I have a 30-page-presentation with my symptoms, here are a few of the most "relevant" ones:

• I am pretty sensitive to noises, light and smells, as well as some textures. They PHYSICALLY hurt
• I ALWAYS stim. ALWAYS. I run in circles, I bounce my leg, I crack my knuckles, l listen to specific parts of one song for hours, I chew on random non-edible things, I rock back and forth, I wrap hair ties around my finger to the point where it hurts just a little bit, and many more things. The only times I don not stim is when I am eating (sometimes, under a few other circumstances) or when I watch movies and get really focused on the thing I'm watching
• I may not have many routines, I am the most unorganized person you will ever meet, but there ARE specific things that I do the same way everytime, and if I can't do it that way, I am completely overwhelmed
• I can't listen to a person while holding eye contact because I am basically not able to hear what they are saying
• I procrastinate everything, all the time, even if I would actually enjoy doing the thing I am procrastinating
• I honestly sometimes wonder whether I am even human. ldk how to explain it, but I feel like there is a fundamental difference between me and most people
• I used to build nests out of blankets and pillows in my bed and line up all my plushies along one side
• I automatically sort things based on size, color ect.
• I also had a specific plan which plushie I would cuddle with on which day so none of them would be jealous or feel like I don't like them as much as the others
• Overhead lights are EVIL.
• Whenever someone tells me to do something, I won't do it immediately. If they try to force me, I get angry
• When I have to read something I find boring, my brain simply won't process the words
• I used to loose a lot of things like gloves or bottles etc, nowadays, I simply don't use these items anymore
• I have weird interests. I wake up thinking about them, I go to bed thinking about them, they are my main source of dopamine, I won't talk about anything else. They usually last for a few months or years. During my childhood, it was horses. I was obsessed with different TV shows and movies about horses etc, but the main theme was always HORSES. Then I had a bunch of other obsessions, and nowadays, it's Bungo Stray Dogs
• I found this thingy and it's the most relatable thing I have ever watched: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=t32CK5t8d2Q