I (19M) want my girlfriend (19F) to be healthy
Me and my partner have been together now for about 6 months, I know in the grand scheme of things that isn’t very long, but we both feel a connection with each other. We both help each other in every way we can and we have both cried to the other, we have both ranted to the other our fair share too. The point is I think we are amazing and I would NEVER want to leave her over anything because I don’t think I could ever find a better connection with anyone.
However, she is definitely on the lighter side and she wouldn’t want me sharing her weight and height on the internet but it’s not very far from being underweight. This wouldn’t be a big issue to most people but she is pretty good friends with other people that are anorexic and have been put through or are currently in therapy. Obviously they aren’t healthy bodies to compare herself to but I don’t mind her having those friends too much as she has known them for a long time. She has recently downloaded a calorie counting and weight loss app and had issues with eating. On top of that, she has had previous mental issues I won’t get into because that isn’t my story to tell but I will say that they were pretty severe and that all this makes me seriously worried about her physical and mental health and I am trying to wane her off of the app and she promised she will be off it by July and I have full trust and faith in that.
All this would be fine but here is where the problem comes in, it’s me, I’m the problem. To elaborate, I like fat girls and all my life I’ve known this and I know it will never change. Now I DO love her and I can live with not having a fat girlfriend but I feel like because she knows that I like that kind of person it confuses her. She tries her best to please me while keeping herself comfortable but I always end up ruining it with something I remember or say or do and it pains me to see it happen. I don’t want to make her fat because that is DISGUSTING to force her into but I’m scared that if she loses any weight I won’t find any attraction to her. I want her to stay at the weight she is because she is pretty happy with it and I am also fine with it but I feel like her having this app will make her feel worse about her body and make her want to lose more and more and even force her into an ED.
TL;dr: Me and my gf love each other but she is: already light, trying to lose weight and has already bad mental health. I also prefer bigger girls, adding more complication to the situation. Despite this I do love her and currently find her attractive but I’m afraid I won’t in future and am worried about her mental and physical health.
How do I help her stay healthy?