Partner and I have been together for about 2 years now we are both in our mid 20s M/25 F25, long story short he has been cheated on in the past and found out in a really messed up way so I keep that in mind for the situations
He has been my only partner ever, first date I’ve ever had, first bf I’ve ever had, and I want to marry him
My only issue is there is consistent problems when it comes to other men,
We are both in similar industries where we are constantly surrounded by the opposite sex and parties and events, but I’ve always been professional and I’ve been doing this long before I met him, it’s just gotten more frequent since Covid is over,
Now it was a little concerning comments in the start which I’ve always shut down and provided reassurance because of the past he has but in the last six months it has increased to almost every week.
Example of said comments
Why were you smiling at this guy
Why did he wave at you
Why did he look at you like that ( i didn’t even see who it was)
His friend asked me advice on something im seasoned in in front of him he then talked to him about not talking to me at all
You seem really close with this guy ( we had one convo just met him)
Light comments but there would always be like an underlying tone of accusations which started to get at me
But here is a situation
We are at an event I have to leave early because I agreed to plans prior to him inviting me to this event, I get in my car we say our goodbyes and he waits for me to drive off
Once me and my friends go to dinner I get a mass amount messages asking me if I knew the car parked behind me bc after I had drove off, the driver pulled up smiled at him waved and drove behind me up until the next stop sign, and then we take different turns
Obviously I had no idea who tf was parked behind me and tried to reassure him, but I was very agitated at the amount of messaging the fact that we had a talk about a separate situation earlier that day and he says he needs to work on his feelings and to communicate better and be able to to trust the fact that I’m not a horrible person and even remotely entertain anyone while im in a relationship
I ask my friend to take selfie us to “post” but sent it to him to reassure him he then asked who’s bag was beside me when it clearly was a women’s bag
There has been several strange situations like this
I’m at a lost, I value loyalty very strongly anybody that knows me knows I am a person of good character and I pride myself with the integrity I carry in the matter
Now worst of all I am starting to suspect this is projection,
On top of that I grew up in a household where men should
Never be trusted which I worked out in therapy but now feels like it’s slowly creeping back in
We have several discussion on what I could do to reassure him but at the same time I don’t want to promise things I cannot do, one of the requests was to not work with men, which was said in a joking matter but I’ve also learned men rarely tell jokes they don’t mean,
I’m young and naive I know and I feel like red flags are springing but im not to sure if im dealing with insecurity that can be mended if he tried or im dealing with something worse