u/Correct_Dot_8408

hey. i’m not really sure who to go to so i figured id try my luck here. i was diagnosed at 13 with about a 50 degree S curve that was confirmed to increase per year along with recommendations for surgery. parents decided against it due to it being a major surgery with serious complications along with me being mostly pain free (and i don’t blame them) but i never got a single xray since then or even attempted schroth method or any other physical treatment (unfortunately living a mostly sedentary life). i’m currently 22, a year into post grad and working a full time desk job. i have mild back pain flare ups from time to time, but it is very manageable. ive never told anyone about my condition, a lot of people just think i have bad posture. because of that i haven’t been able to cope or accept my condition. i also am fearful of the doctor so i haven’t been able to go back. i’m getting concerned and sick of feeling so useless, so im thinking of going and getting another xray. i’m kind of worried they’ll tell me to do the surgery, which i really don’t want to do because ill lose the ability to freely bend (plus im scared of the complications). i know this isn’t an excuse but im having trouble just booking the appointment and having to tell my parents because talking about it is super hard for me. i just choke up and end up crying. im sick of the ignorance is bliss mentality ive been living in my entire teenage and early adult years but actually having to do something about it is also really scaring me. i also have random worries like finding love and childbirth. not really sure what the point of this post was, mostly had to rant and seek encouragement lol. thanks for reading.