My husband and I are taking a trip to Vegas for his BIL 21st birthday party. We are going for 4 days and several events are planned out over the course of the trip.
On the night of the BIL’s 21st birthday the plan is to get dinner and then go to a strip show after. I am fully on board to go to the dinner. Everyone else in the group is going to a strip show after that costs $100. When the plan was discussed, I said I didn’t want to go to the strip show both to the BIL and my husband (along with other people on the trip). I was not preventing my husband from going, I just did not want personally attend. I don’t have any qualms with going to a strip show, but we are already spending the money to go out to Vegas for the birthday, and I would rather pocket the $100 than spend that much on a strip show that I won’t enjoy.
My husband thinks IATA because I don’t want to go. He says I should go and spend time with him. I told him it’s not about that. I feel I am already supporting him and his BIL by being in Vegas for the birthday and I am fully on board with all the other events that have been planned both on the birthday and in the days around it. I just am uncomfortable and don’t enjoy this one. He got very upset about me not wanting to go to the show, even saying that I shouldn’t go on the trip at all because I don’t want to go to this one event.
I asked why this event was so important and he said it’s his brother’s birthday event so everyone on the trip should go and that he wants me there. I said that I would be at the birthday dinner before the show and meet them after, and that I am not trying to spoil the birthday, I just don’t want to spend the money on something I won’t enjoy and will feel uncomfortable at.
My husband said that it’s a bad reason for not going and said that the only reason to not go was if it was a money issue (we couldn’t afford it) or if I had a traumatic experiences in the past. I just don’t want to go because I won’t enjoy my time and $100 is a lot of money. I feel like it would take away from the BIL bday festivities if I went and just looked uncomfortable or bored or stared at my phone the whole time.
My husband says that he does things for me all the time that he doesn’t want to do, but goes just to be there with me. I said that I love spending time with him but if it’s a ticketed/paid event that he doesn’t want to go to I would be okay with him not going even if I wanted him to go. It saves money and frees up his time to do something he could enjoy, which makes me happy. This made him upset and he feels that I don’t love him because I don’t want to go to this event. I don’t feel that our relationship has anything to do with the event, but now it’s a big argument.
After things settled I agreed to go to the event and we have purchased the tickets. But he is still adamant that IATA for not wanting to go just to spend time with him.
AITA for not wanting to go to the event?