u/Correct-Condition473

I feel like i can't fucking get clean, I was clean a while ago for 2 weeks, then I relapsed, now i was just clean for another weak, and I just relapsed again. I keep thinking im getting better but im not, I feel like ive only been getting worse and worse. I have no motivation to do anything, my room is a mess, I have tons of school work to do. I've been getting pissed off at everything, not like saying things to people, but feeling internally pissed off at every little thing that happens. my parents are constantly on my ass about assignments or attendance, which is understandable, I get why they would be mad, but I wish they understood. I haven't told them or anyone else at all about me self harming, or anything else ive been feeling. The only thing im really open about to family and freinds is my anxiety and social anxiety, but other than that I dont talk about my feelings at all, i dont even actually know whats wrong with me, and im not in therapy or anything and i dont want to self diagnose myself with random shit. Im scared of people seeing me differently, or pitying me. Its getting hotter outside and its getting harder and harder to hide my scars. I just wish I was normal