Omg people. I've had OCD my entire conscious life (I'm 50 right now,) so you'd think nothing about it would surprise me. But the teeny little experience I just had has reminded me how powerful it is, despite medication, knowledge and excellent medical people.
I have a self-care app that offered a reflection- "What did you do well today?" Well- I didn't do anything except stay in bed. But I looked down and saw all 3 cats cuddled up against me, sleeping soundly. So I started typing, "I made my cats feel safe," but before I even finished three words, my brain was already undermining me to the point that I stopped typing. "What if they just don't feel safe in the rest of the house? What if it's just cold? What if they just like my blankets better than theirs?" I couldn't type six freaking words without my brain harassing me. Ridiculous.
I don't have a bigger point to make, just that no matter how hard I work and try to understand, this stupid illness still has its roots woven through my head. Thanks for listening.