u/Coriander_marbles

It’s been almost a year since I started doing EMDR and the changes I’ve seen are nothing short of shocking and unexpected.

To be sure, I’ve seen a decrease in my anxiety and various physical symptoms, I feel healthier and more energetic in general, but there’s more to it than that.

I thought I’d list some of the craziest ones to see if anyone had also encountered any of this.

1. No longer into BDSM. That one was a shocker, and I keep expecting it to come back, but thus far, it’s been more than half a year since I’ve wanted to do any of the scenes I enjoyed doing in the past (restraints, mild pain, flogging, etc). I’m in no way saying that you need to be traumatised to be into BDSM, it’s just a unique side effect for me.
2. I took a break from the relationship I have with my mother. This was something I thought would never occur because my mom and I were pretty trauma bonded due to a lot of situations that happened when I was younger. As a result, we were very close, to the point that I identified with her life experiences and they haunted me. Our adult relationship was also complex and toxic and I had a lot of anxiety and symptoms over it. I finally did something I never expected, and put our communication on hold via a letter.
3. I am almost too chill about certain things. I remind myself of Peter Gibbons from the movie Office Space when he gets hypnotised but the hypnotherapist has a heart attack before he can snap him out of it. It’s a level of chill and optimism that I never had before. It almost feels callous, and here I’m monitoring it, but on the whole it’s a reprieve.
4. I think I’m an extrovert?!?! I get so much energy from interactions with people, and I’ve never experienced this. Not only that, but it’s a snowball effect. The more people I see, the more I feel like I’m thriving, the more I want to work out, and get out of the house, and talk to more people, and try new things. Staying at home feels stifling. My whole life, I’ve been an introvert

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5. My marriage feels a little claustrophobic all of a sudden, despite the fact that I have a wonderful partner who has never done wrong. Perhaps it’s because I changed so quickly, that the cognitive whiplash of it all is still there. My partner hasn’t had a chance to catch up, even though they are super supportive. But a part of me worries that I’m now fundamentally too different. And I guess we’ll see.

And voilà! I’m not sure all of these are expressly positive changes, because they have left me with many questions and the need for reflection, but there it is.

What do you guys think? Anyone experience something similar or shocking that you didn’t expect? I’d love to hear your stories.