Am i a INTP or INFJ?
Hello, I've been familiar with MBTI for quite some time, to the point that using it as a tool to get to know people and myself better has become something natural for me.
I've studied each function individually over time, and I've come to the conclusion that I undoubtedly have a very strong "Ti" and definitely use "Fe," I'm also absolutely certain that I'm an introvert; the real deal comes with Ni/Ne and Si/Se; which leaves me with 3 options, INTP, INFJ and ISTP. Meeting ISTPs are like distant relatives to me; they always seem like people similar to me but fundamentally different. I kind of feel that way about everyone, but that's another talk; having said that, I'm pretty sure I'm not an ISTP, but I don't have strong arguments to prove it.
I'm really not the type to have a lot of disconnected ideas in my head, but i tend to overthink A LOT, and I try to rationalize everything I think that I believe can be rationalized; my head never stops throwing thoughts at me, and the internal monologue can be intense sometimes, haha.
I don't have many interests outside of the things I'm into. I'm generally unaware of any trends, famous brands, popular TV shows, or popular mainstream music, or really anything that the average person consumes, and it's quite common for people to think I live in a cave because of that; its also probably why i'm so terrible with small talk.
I would say that my intuition is very present in my life, but it's somewhat unconscious (as if it works whenever it wants), to the point that I'm unsure if it's auxiliary or dominant. I definitely don't have the stereotypical characteristics of a "Ne" user, like that chaotic scattered energy, indecisiveness, focus on possibilities, and extreme curiosity.
I would say that I'm not interested in any conversation from which I can't extract some kind of meaning. Getting lost in possibilities is only fun for me if it has some application in reality (whether internal or external meaning); which isn't a problem most of the time, because I feel i can make connections between the most varied subjects, and I frequently extract meaning from almost anything. But I don't know if that's simply pattern recognition by "Si-Ne" or "Ni".
Speaking of "Fe", that's where things get complicated, because I have a serious case of dissociation that could make identifying it correctly a nightmare; which leads me to the fact that, regardless of my personality, it is not a healthy version.
I can go days, weeks, even sometimes months, without feeling anything at all; Just watching the seasons go by; which definitely affects my personal growth a lot, but that's not what I want i'm here to talk about. When the numbness disappears, and I feel my emotions, I don't feel that they are inconvenient or uncomfortable; in fact, it's quite the opposite. It's as if I feel whole again, after wandering for a long time without really knowing where my soul had gone, and I kind of have a certain "Now everything makes sense" episode; which doesn't seem like the INTP stereotype that seems to avoid deep emotions at all costs.
I don't actually have much of an aversion to talking about my emotions, except for privacy reasons; but I'm not very empathetic with people on a daily basis, more like sympathetic, but I always make a point of helping if I feel that the person won't betray me; so i really can't say if i'm a Fe auxiliar or inferior.
Now regarding "Se x Si", I don't have many experiences in my life to draw examples from, other than the fact that I tend to be considerably inattentive combined with my ADHD, and I consistently prefer my comfort zone over doing something risky; however, I enjoy traveling and hiking from time to time, but most of the time I prefer to be at home with my hobbies;
I'm not a nostalgic person at all, and I don't tend to hold onto memories as if they have much significance; I tend to keep my head in the present or the future, but more consistently in the present. That being said, I think everyone who knows me would say that I come off more as a Si user than a Se user; and i can't really draw a line between which ones fits better.
Does anyone have any insight into this, or have you ever had these doubts before? I'd really like to know your opinion.