Feeling resentful of siblings.. Need help letting go
I 33f have 2 younger siblings a full brother 20 and half sister 17. When I was a teen my mom remarried and my step dad is an amazing person! I’m very happy to have him in our lives. My full brother was 2 when they got together and treats him like his own son. Which is wonderful!
Here’s the problem! I have never been given anything ever! I paid my own way through college while my step-dad paid for my brothers (not his child) education and living expenses and he would of course do the same for my sister (his daughter). Both siblings got nice cars, cell phones, never had to have jobs. Life on easy mode! I had to have a job the day I turned 16 and paid for every last item I have ever needed (even toiletries).
Step dad has always included me physically and emotionally but never financially. I don’t expect him to, I don’t feel entitled to anything that isn’t mine.
But I’m human! It hurts! Just because of my birth order I get nothing. He recently passed and his estate is being split 50/50 between my half sister and full brother (parents split 2 years ago). Not one single penny for me.
How do I let go of this resentment? I am stacked with student loans and endless bills and both my siblings stand to inherit over 2 million each. It is a deep pain I am carrying. I love my siblings, but they don’t get it because “he’s not my real dad” I don’t have a father, he died when I was a child. He’s also not my brothers dad but because he was a toddler my step dad claimed his as his own.
What do I do? I will struggle my entire life and they will be on easy street never understanding my perspective. I do not want their money. I think I want their understanding maybe? I don’t know, I’m just sad.