Wife no longer in love with me, what to do?
Married 18 years, together for 22 years. Two children middle school.
About 6 weeks ago my wife confronted me about ignoring a text. I let her know I was hurt that she had been spending her very little free time with friends and co-workers. Rather than her apologizing or noting that she had been neglecting me she just goes straight to "I'm not in love with you anymore" and "I don't see any future with you as my man". She's mid 40's, basically stated that she has sacrificed herself and her own goals by being a wife and mother. She has always had a great career, but about 10 months ago she landed her dream job. She is enthralled with it, withdrawing from me steadily, and all of her fulfillment is coming from work.
I'm 6'4", athletic, have kept very in shape... I'm a good dad spending time with the kids, assist with chores... always a steady income. We have no financial issues at all. There has been no infidelity and sex life was healthy. Everyone in our circle from friends to family thinks we have the perfect marriage - even I thought so too.
In the 6 weeks, I of course have had some anger, outbursts, and overall emotional instability. She has used this against me saying it shows her how she needs a more stable person. Rage bait, self fulfilling prophecy, whatever you want to call it she set me on fire and then points at me for burning.
It really feels like a mid life crisis or a 'phase' but if I said that to her... she'd leave immediately. I've mostly tried staying available to her, saying I still love her and want to get through this. We both started counseling, but she won't do it as a couple.
I feel powerless, do I have any play here at all? If I try to just live my life and ignore her, she'll just keep drifting further away. We currently are living under the same roof 'playing house'... she did a consult with an attorney but said it was just informational and isn't ready to hire anyone or serve me anything official. No idea what to say or do...