I Feel Like I’m Constantly Punishing Myself
Does anyone else feel like they are constantly punishing themselves?
Lately, I’ve realized that I punish myself in a lot of ways.
I restrict how much I eat because a part of me feels like I don’t deserve food or kindness.
I deal with suicidal thoughts almost every day. Most of the time, the thoughts feel less like “I want to die right now” and more like a belief that dying is the only way I’ll ever find peace from the constant chaos in my mind.
Sometimes it feels like no matter what I do, I’m destined to feel this way forever.
Even though I know these thoughts and behaviors are harmful, I still have a hard time stopping.
I’m currently working with a psychologist and psychiatrist, but I wanted to ask if anyone else relates to this pattern of self-punishment and feeling like they don’t deserve to be cared for.
If you’ve experienced this, what has helped you be a little less harsh with yourself?