Hello,
i've veen through a painful situation. I had a girlfriend, for almost 1 year, and it was perfect relationship. I say this not because only i believe it, but because she told me so herself many times. We cared for one another, we supported one another and did lots of things together. She said i was the best boyfriend ever and that she felt so lucky she met me and that i was so much more than she ever thought one could get in life.
One day, she decided to breakup because she felt that although i was perfect boyfriend, she didnt feel love and that was very important to her, but wanted us to be friends. I tried to be the rational one, trying to ask how we could solve everything and if there was any way we could find a way, because i believe good working people always find a way. She started having attitudes i didnt really like, for example - "would you like to watch a movie next week?" i said yes, and then next week i asked again "are we still going to watch the movie?" and she simply said "no". When i mentioned her herself starting the topic, she said "i said we could, not that we would". These kind of things felt really bad to me. Then we had a bad conversation, and she she misinterpreted something i said in the wrong way (we dont have same native language) as too bad. We then went no contact. Almost 6 months later, she sent me a birthday message, which i thanked, and we kept no contact.
4 months later, i tried to make peace with her, and told her i was just looking for closure because there was no need for 2 good people to be angry at one another, and i could clarify the thing she misinterpreted and we made peace.
4 months later, she started messaging me and saying she missed me and she even said she cried thinking i wouldnt answer, which i replied i couldnt ever imagine happening.
We started talking again, even by voice, and considered meeting, but then she had a life problem that broke her. Then one day she started telling me she missed me a lot, sending me emojis with kisses and saying she was on period and missing me a lot. We kept talking for weeks. Suddenly, we started talking nothing, and when i asked if everything was ok, she simply said - "yes, but we dont need to talk always, we are not a couple anymore". This made me feel really bad, rubbing the couple part in my face like she did sometimes before.
I felt so bad when she ignored me, and i begged for attention. I insisted too much, and she threatened multiple times to block me. This went on for weeks. Sometimes she even said - "yes we can talk later at night", but when the time came she didnt.
3 days ago called her and she was in hospital (not staying there, just for consultation, from what i got), i offered my help if needed and told i hoped she get better. Then she sent me message in whatsapp threating to block me again because she felt i ambushed her. I told her i didnt know how to deal with this situation anymore, but loved her greatly, which was all i ever did.
She blocked me in telegram, whatsapp, and then i tried to talk to her in instagram and ask how she could do this to me, and then she blocked me there too. This triggered me and made me lose control for a while, because i felt unfairly treated I tried to call her on phone again 4 times until she blocked my phone number.
I feel i was not right here, but i felt so lonely and abandoned, wasted from weeks of this. Im also going through some stuff in my life too.
What to do now? Will she ever unblock me? Should i in say, months, try to send her a message from another account?
I feel so lost. I loved her so much, i helped her in every problem she had and even tried to help her with the life situation she was going through. Life shouldnt be like this... why people who love have to suffer? People who give it it all have to go through this?
I realize i shouldnt have tried to insist on calling her as many times as i did, but i must confess i had an explosion of frustration at that moment. How can someone be there for someone always, try to do their best and feel like everything is met wish pushbacks or false hopes? I was living my life "fine", at least not bothering her, until she decided to reach me again.
After all this, i feel like she made me the villain because i didnt respect her boundaries, but i was really lost and hopeless.
What should i do?
Life is pain like this.
I sent her an email telling i wish her the best and apologizing for my "explosion", and that a part of me will always love her and she will always be dear to me.
This was 1 year ago. I'm still in suffering