I (20M) met a girl(20f) from my clg.she was pretty and we started texting eachother (she thought I was cute like a nerd? Or smth).after we started talking within a few days she wanted to enter into a relationship with me
(In the past she liked a guy but he never liked her back and even after she expressed her feelings for him he continues to treat her as a frnd while he currently entered into a relationship with some other girl at his college and he started posting their pictures in social media while we we started talking which may have influenced her decision)
I immediately tried to discourage her by saying that we needed time although we genuinely liked each other I felt that entering into a relationship was completely different and I told her we needed time.
We talked with each other almost everything(our views on life or relationship marriage everything and almost everything matched atp I felt like she was the one)
So after a month i proposed to her and she accepted.
A few days after i proposed I wanted to go out with her but she declined saying she felt guilty(her family is very religious and they don't agree to any relationships). I told her to relax and not to think too much as it was her life and it was her decision to make.
I thought that over time she would become normal but she slowly stopped initiating any contact like she would return my calls but she would never call me first and she would only meet me if I asked for it and this continued for a month(we met around 3-4times in that month)During that time I didn't think much of it as
1.when we first met she was the one who always used to ask to meet or call etc
2.i have a habit of over analyzing simple things
But one day I said f*ck it and asked her about it.she said that she was just guilty about hiding this from her family and that she loves her family and doesn't want to damage her relationship with them (when this came up in our previous discussion I always told her that when the time came we would only marry after convincing her parents)
She was skeptical about it but agreed with me
The next day her elder sister found out about our relationship(she was checking google photos for some work)and asked her about it.she thought her sister would be the only person to support our relationship at her home but her sister told her that convincing their family was impossible and it was best for her to stop this relationship rather than continuing it and suffering later on
She called me and told me that she was breaking up with me.i tried to convince her but she was confident that her family could never be convinced and cut my call.i tried multiple times to contact her but she isn't responding.i tried to talk to her on her birthday but even then she didn't respond through a mutual friend i asked her to meet with me but she told him that currently she is still feeling it hard to move on and that she would call me when she gets alright but meeting her is not happening
This happened about three weeks ago and I still don't know how to process it.on one hand I know that she is a very good girl and that she would never cheat or do something to hurt me on purpose but on the other hand I feel angry that she would prioritize herself over meeting with me for the last time as I requested(which I know is selfish but it's the least she could do after breaking up with me on call in 3minutes and with no msgs or calls following that) I just wanted closure while talking with her one last time
I was never rude to her on any occasion.always told her how much I loved her and I thought she would never
leave me.i dont even know where it went wrong.
whenever i wake up i remember her and it hurts me that she is not going to talk with me again i still cant understand how she can continue to go with daily life and celebrate her birthday (it was 4days after she left me) while I'm here literally suffering to eat or sleep or do anything
I thought she was a great person but I just don't understand if my judgement was wrong or maybe the situation was bad or something just please help me understand my situation.i just want to know if I'm justified in hating her or was she in the right to break up with me? I just want to process this
please help me Understand my situation
English is my third language so please excuse for any typos or grammatical errors.