What would benefit both my boyfriend [19M] with demanding mental health needs and I [19F] with my own MH issues myself?
I, 19F, and my bf, 19M, have been dating for 5 months so far, and have been friends prior for many years. We are very close, but our relationship has been extremely rocky lately due to mental health issues. I have had mental health issues all my life, have been hospitalized, have had attempts, trips to the ward, visible scars, lots of meds, etc, and my partner has asked to be more enlightened on these topics as we started dating, which I don't mind sharing stories or intel on my experiences at all. About 4ish months into the relationship, I noticed he started imitating my unhealthy coping mechanisms, such as sh, and this was very shocking to me, as I felt bad for him, but he had made statements before on how he didn't understand sh, and isn't appealed to the idea. He also copies most of everything I do, such as mannerisms, interests, how I text, music taste, style, etc, and I never really batted an eye until it escalated to more personal and traumatic experiences to me. He recently got put in a psych ward for sh about 2 weeks ago for sh even though I had a conversation with him about it stating I was uncomfortable with him partaking inn it and offered many other helpful coping mechanisms that weren't maladaptive, and therapy resources, because seeing him do this felt like I was reliving my trauma in a way, and it made me feel horrible because its clearly due to my influence, even though he denies it. This made me start emotionally distancing myself from him for the betterment of my own mental health, as I constantly am catering to his new demanding mental health needs, making me feel like a therapist, and even after bringing it up, it still hasn't really changed much. The main thing that hurts the most isn't the exhaustion, but the fact that this is because of my influence. Besides this, he is extremely sweet and does so much for me, but I do notice that his "love" is actually limerence from keying into many other factors, and I'm stuck on what the best course of action is. He's clearly not in a good state and freaks out when I seem "off", but my friends and family say I need to break things off with him so he doesn't get worse and so I don't have to relive the trauma and get worse as well or relapse in unhealthy behaviors. What would be best for both of us in this dilemma?