Dad reminded me the Ring camera recorded my entire talk with Mom and wants to “discuss my behavior” in person when he gets home
31M engaged to my fiancée. We’ve had ongoing tension with my parents and sister over our wedding guest list. My mom pushed to invite her aunt and uncle after the venue was locked in (we’d already made room for six extra on her side). I told her no.
Last week I went to her house about an hour away to calmly tell her how hurt I was about Easter. I had FaceTimed my sister that day and asked what everyone was doing — they said “nothing,” but then my nephew blurted out “We’re hanging out with Grandma and Grandpa for Easter.” That’s how I found out they were all getting together without us. The conversation with my mom got heated. She got defensive, raised her voice, but eventually said she could “see how it came across.” I said thank you, we hugged, and I left.
The very next morning my dad (still traveling, home on the 21st) texted me:
Dad: “I just want to remind you that Ring recorded your entire conversation with mom. I am coming home on the 21st.”
Me: “What’s your goal of reminding me it was recorded?”
Dad: “We will discuss everything in person when I get home on or after the 21st. I am not going over the conversation by text.”
Me: “You brought up the recording by text, so I asked why. You do not get to summon me into a conversation or decide the terms here. I’ll decide if and when I want to engage. Just a reminder, recording someone in our state without consent is also illegal.”
Dad: “This is a private home and we have security for a reason. We are not discussing legalities we are discussing your behavior and false information which no one needs to apologize to. See you on the 21st.”
Me: “You are very out of line. You have no leverage with me, and you do not get to summon me into a conversation. There will be no conversation on the 21st unless I decide there is. Do not text me like this again.”
He started typing… and never replied.
He was 100% out of line with that text. It felt good to shut it down and hold my ground. But now with Mother’s Day, the wedding, and birthdays are all coming up and it’s hitting me hard. I’m not reaching out to mom, dad, sister and no word from them either. It’s tough to reconcile that they’re not all bad — there were good moments growing up — and I’m struggling with the guilt of even thinking about going low or no contact.
We’re really self-sufficient and independent, and we’ve refused any wedding money from them after everything. This whole exchange just feels wild.
What’s your take and how do I handle him when he gets home without letting the guilt pull me back in?