I agreed to serve as a guardian for a young boy (in his 20s), agreed to pay for his tuition fees in college, even one summer term in his senior high school since he flunked 3 subjects. I gave him allowances on a weekly basis, even provided for his meals sometimes. All this i did, since his parents were a no-show to him, and he had to eventually grow up with no parental figures just as he had shared. Being a single guy in my 40s, i thought, oh well, this is a responsibility i am willing to carry. I have the finances so maybe God redirected this boy to me for a specific purpose.
for years, i played the part of a parent. I attended his volleyball games since he is a varsity, i walked him through his enrollments, even sometimes helped him in his academics through tutorials. So much so, that whenever he'd commit mistakes and does something bad, i'd listen first to the full story before eventually counseling him with his issues and mistakes. Truly, we had some good dynamics, he would update me with his grades and other things academic related, sometimes even personal. but somehow, all these came to a change.
He somehow developed the attitude of not updating me with finances. I left him money once to pay for his tuition when i was on a trip with my own family, only to find out that he did not use this money to pay for the tuition just as it was intended, and he used it for something else. I got mad, but kept my cool and educated him that the money was supposed to be for tuition purposes and that he should have been honest with me.
However, more and more lies unfold. Weekly allowances doubled with no transparency. And when the time came that i asked for update regarding a money that i gave him (i had suspicions that he spent it with his girlfriend), he became so defensive to me, that he became too manipulative in his responses, forcing me to be tripped with guilt since he said that i could never understand his story. He claims that he felt so offended over the fact that i have not changed the way i see him, and that i still distrust him, all this just after i asked for a simple update about where the money went (2 weeks allowance, yet 25% already spent in just 3 days).
He even went on saying that he is willing to pay for his tuition fees the soonest that he could get a job. but for now, he is still going to ask for my help. He said this during our heated conversation that seemed more like an argument already. In all honesty, he always shows this kind of manner whenever we come to a point of confrontation. He would always turn the tables and villify me for doing him bad, when all i did was what any parent would do whenever kids make mistakes - correct and validate. this had me remember what he said that he would even snap back at his real parents whenever there was an argument. This being said, i realized, if he could do that to his own parents, he could truly do that to me.
Ultimately, since his manner of talking back at me felt offensive and disrespectful, i finally could not keep my cool. I told him that i am considering not supporting him anymore. and he gave me no contact even to this day. He blocked me up in his primary social media account, but in instagram, i could still see him viewing my stories.
I feel guilty as of writing. Like i never should have told him that i am considering not helping him anymore, but a greater part of me that was wounded demanded to be felt and heard. i know i shouldnt be counting the costs of my generosity, but i saw how ungrateful he was when he talked back at me, without even saying a sorry.
Anyway, i wish him the best. and i wish he could build a good future for himself now that he is on his own.