As bad as it sounds I've been carrying this guilt with me for the past few weeks.
Me and my boyfriend usually get along fine and we like spending time with each other i wouldn't say that we are compatible, cuz he's super chill and doesn't really care about anything whereas I'm ambitious and a little serious in general.
There was a point in our relationship where we weren't that close and everytime I spoke about it to my boyfriend he would literally tell me to calm down and not overthink, whenever I spoke to him when I was low he made jokes on me and made me feel even worse.
At this point I really wanted to talk to someone just as moral support and I've been really close to my ex. He's one of my closest friends ever and we have a good bond so we eventually started speaking (my boyfriend doesn't know that we speak) and it started blurring the lines between our relationship and i just don't know how to feel knowing that I'm closer to him than I'm with my boyfriend.
I put the point of breaking up with my boyfriend but he's very sensitive to that topic and gets angry if I say anything like that. I feel bad for cheating on him and idk if anything is really justifiable.