6 years on Diazepam, 3 years stuck in a tapering loop. Does it ever actually end? I feel like I'm in hell
I don't know if it's truly worth it. I've been using diazepam for 6 years; I never exceeded my dose and always used it regularly. For a long time now, I’ve been gradually tapering the dose to quit, but then I feel so terrible that I return to my old dose again. This has become a cycle, and I haven't been able to break out of it for 3 years.
Currently, I am on a standard 10 mg dose and I still feel awful, but I know that if I took 15 mg, I would be much more comfortable.
I wonder this: Will all that pain I endure while tapering be worth fully quitting? Because I am so tired of suffering; sometimes I even think about killing myself. Even though my tapering is very slow, the withdrawal symptoms I experience are so powerful that sometimes I think I'm going to die.
If there is someone at the end of the tunnel, someone with a story like mine, please share your experience with me. I feel as if I am in hell.
I don't know if the pain I'm enduring will truly be worth it, and I'm afraid of dying while suffering through it; sometimes I just feel like living life.